Papers dotted with yellow highlighter marks rustled on the coffee table. I leaned over my open notebook and read the same sentence five times, hoping the ball of productivity would start rolling. My eyes wandered to pairs of people in conversation. Words, words, words. Everyone else seemed to know what to say.
“You haven’t written anything yet!” Even the error message on my writing app was mocking my lack of inspiration. I glared back at my computer screen and pounded out a full sentence proudly. The day was still young and already I was experiencing the frustration of “write-three-words-delete-five .” Not much was sticking. Not much was satisfying. This hour and a half of free, uninterrupted time was slipping away. How convenient.
I was ready to label this coffee shop retreat a waste of time when another stream of words came to the surface and flowed onto the page in front of me. I started typing …
We quake and doubt
Forgetting You in our fear
With clouded thought
We think You must be veiled too.
Even in our wrestling
You embrace us
Knots of confusion and questions
Worked out by Your firm and loving hand.
In sacred silence
You remind us
You are near
And worthy of trust.
My frustration over a wasted writing opportunity pulled back as this prayer expanded on the page. A prayer that reminded me of both the grace and growth that characterize my days as a writer. Those days that bring sweeping inspiration and fresh insight. Those days that stand as a brick wall of writer’s block. Those days when I can only manage to type out a prayerful poem in a coffee shop.
As these days of grace and growth have added up to weeks, months, years, I find myself circling back to the pursuit of stewardship.
Stewardship flows in the same vein as faithfulness. The former is often spoken in terms of managing responsibilities while faithfulness is often regarded in a relational manner. As a writer and a follower of Jesus Christ, I am learning to walk in the sweet spot where faithfulness and stewardship meet.
Penning my book, Sweet Dependence, certainly fueled my growing passion for writing; but my love for this particular medium has also been accompanied by a desire to steward well what the Lord has placed in my hands.
Because more than a personal passion or even something I do well, writing is a gift from the Lord. A gift I don’t want to waste. A gift I don’t want to hoard or hide. And six months ago, compelled by the desire to continue stewarding the gift God had given me, I began this blog. To encourage and edify (build up) you, my reader. To proclaim the goodness of the Lord in my own life. To ultimately bring glory to Christ through my words and storytelling.
So many times throughout Scripture, we are called to remember the Lord’s goodness, His provision and faithfulness, His grace and compassion. (see Psalm 78 & 111) In stewarding my writing for Christ, I am aware of this “call to remember.” Composing blog posts has allowed me to recall and record the great and gracious work of God in my own life. In a beautiful way, writing actively leads me to remember. The words of Anne Bradstreet, 17th century poet and pilgrim, resonate with me as I consider the act of remembrance my writing invites me to participate in.
… but my God, who never failed me, was not absent but helped me and graciously manifested His love to me, which I dare not pass by without remembrance, that it may be a support to me when I shall have occasion to read this hereafter and to others that shall read it … so they may be encouraged to trust in Him who is the only portion of His servants.
I know this post has been rather unique as I pull back the curtain, so to speak, and express my motivation behind writing and this blog in particular. So thank you for sticking with me and hearing a bit of my heart.
To close, I want to share how I’ll be moving forward with the blog this year.
- Bi-monthly posts … To continue providing you with quality content that is grounded in God’s Word, creative, and meaningful, I will be posting twice a month.
- Book reviews … As a volunteer with Moody Publishers, I read various books and am asked to provide an honest review and post it to my blog. Once a month, I will be including a book review at the end of the post for your enjoyment. There is certainly no pressure to buy or read the book, but it is my hope that the reviews I share may spark your interest to read the book for yourself!
- Follow the blog … If you have not already, I would be honored to have you subscribe to my blog! By subscribing to (following) the blog, you will receive my posts directly in your inbox. If you visit the home page, click “Follow” in the bottom corner to enter your email address. Please know, your privacy is important to me; I will not share your email with others.
- Contact Christina … If you have any questions for me or just want to introduce yourself and tell me a bit of your story, I would be happy to hear from you. Please send me a message and say hello! (see form below or email me at sweetdependence1@gmail.com)
Thank you once again for tuning in, friends! I am truly grateful for the love and encouragement I have received from so many of you as my writing journey continues to unfold. I pray that each of us would be good stewards of the gifts God has entrusted to us ~ for His glory!
Grace + peace,
Christina
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. (Colossians 3:23-24)
Sweet Dependence 